Zeno of Citium Being stoic, resiliant and strong

Zeno of Citium Being stoic, resiliant and strongZeno of Citium Being stoic, resiliant and strongAs influential as Zeno of Citium has been, nothing that he wrote has survived to modern day.Around 300 BC in Athens, he was one of the fruchtwein revered teachers. His claim to fame is that he founded Stoicism, a school of philosophy chiefly interested in how we ought to live.Our understanding of his approach to Stoicism, then, comes from second-hand surces. While the philosophy has continued to evolve, with popular interpretations coming from great Romans like Seneca and Marcus Aurelius, much of it grew on the roots Zeno nurtured.He divided his thinking into three categories logic, which he equated with the study of things like knowledge, perception, and thought physics, which was his approach to nature and science and ethics, which concerned itself with the daily conduct of living and being.Out of these three, however, it was ethics that he was primarily interested in, seeing the other t wo categories as means a framework to support and carry his conclusions.Zenos ideas were built on older methodologies of the Cynics and the thinking of Socrates, but rather than texas tea toward one side or the other, he mixed and matched as he saw fit.Naturally, there is some disagreement about what exactly Zenos system laid out and the finer details of his approach, but in broad strokes, we can paint a fairly accurate picture.1Its easy to get caught in the deeper mysteries of reality, and in the process, we sometimes forget to pay attention to what it actually means to live as a matter of daily conduct. The Stoics, like Zeno, showed how we can close this gap byLiving in accordance with ur natureSeeing virtue as the surce of goodnessHaving a neutral valuation of the worldToday, the word stoic connotates resilience and fortitude, but there is more to it than that.Living in Accordance With Our NatureCurrently, science studies the natural world and tries to pinpoint it as either a me ans to other ends, like controlling and predicting our surroundings, or simply as a thing of value in itself.In a Stoic worldview, these reasons may be good enough, and they can fit into the broader framework, but they stop short of the primary reason for studying nature and its phenomena to better understand ourselves and how our personal actions fit into the cosmic dance.As beings of evolution, we have aspects of nature embedded into us. We have inclinations toward both change and harmony, competition and cooperation, pursuits and comforts.Now, of course, certain traits have a stronger pull in some people than others, and when we are young, many of these traits are raw, but as we age and as we experience, we can use reason to move us away from instinct toward an understanding that accords with the world.If we follow this path of reason, what we are often left with are core motivations that drive us to pursue our interests, core motivations that move us to take care of those around us, and core motivations to overcome different challenges that life throws our way.The key thing to note here is that the Stoics were against blind romanticism, where feelings and pleasures guide what we do. No, Zeno taught that we use experience and then refine it with reason as a way to harmonize with the world and thats what should guide us.Once a certain refinement has been reached, then its pull works like a compass, one we shouldnt fight if its telling us that we should go in the other direction when we are stuck.At any point in life, there is a larger wave around our body that gives gestalt to many of our characteristics, and its on us to both ride this wave and to let it flow through us as we do.Seeing Virtue as the Source of GoodnessOnce we have a clear understanding of our relationship to both our nature and the broader nature, we are absolved from all of the uncertainties that we are likely to face but one.This brings us to the core of the Stoic worldview their ethics. A t the end of the day, very little of this matters unless, in some way, we change our actions, conducts, and ways of being.While using reason and experience to align ourselves with our surroundings is a start, its not the end. There are still conflicts that we are likely to face, namely those that challenge us, where the broader nature is putting undue stress on our own personal experience.When, for example, we get hurt, or when reality fails to meet our expectations, or when we lose people we care about, there is clearly a conflict, and harmonizing things isnt easy.Here Zeno would say that any action or conduct is right if it is simply good. And what does he mean by good? Well, something is good if it is virtuous when you use your reason to change what it is in your control (which is your reaction) and let go of what isnt (a problem).When you put virtue at the center, as the most meaningful thing to strive toward, you take full responsibility for how you experience reality because v irtue is born within you not in the outside world. If something is wrong, its because you are not matching your responsibility.It may be true that people are treating you unfairly, or that it wasnt your fault, or that life in general is just hard, but once a non-reversible event has occurred, you can do one of two things fight it or harmonize with it. And if you cant change the world, the only way to harmonize with it is to change your reaction to create goodness by doing the virtuous thing.The better your reaction, the more virtuous of a life you live, and the more good you create.Having A Neutral Valuation of the WorldThe importance of virtue highlights the value of managing our internal reality that what is good and true comes from looking inward. Fair enough, but what about the outside world?If the only source of goodness is the parte of us in charge of managing our reaction to outside events, then what exactly is the point of caring about anything in the world surrounding us?Th is question is where Zeno and his followers diverged away from the Cynics, a different brand of philosophers, who Zeno built his ideas on. The Cynics claimed that the outside world didnt matter at all. As long as you kept your internal world in check, you were fine.The Stoics, however, argued that it does matter. The objects we experience and live around may not carry positive or negative values in themselves, but they play an important role.Everything in the outside world is neutral. In itself, its neither good nor bad it simply is. That said, the way our internal virtue and goodness interacts with this world is of consequence. For example, its more preferable to avoid sickness by being cautious than to walk into it.Striving for health and wealth and community, things that help to preserve us, are natural and preferable, as long as we dont confuse them as the source of our virtue and goodness.Once we have refined our innate reason, and once we pursue the core motivations that it ha s imbued in us, not interacting with this world of external objects would be an act against the harmony. It would be creating a conflict where there otherwise would not be one.Many Stoics that lived after Zeno had a different relationship with the external reality and its demands, making a case for things like duty, but they all agreed that it plays a key role.All You Need to KnowIts a simple idea control what you can and let go of what you cant. But it takes more than just saying it and knowing it for it to truly kick into effect in the day to day business of living.Zeno of Citium, the first Stoic, may not have left behind a perfectly clear system for us to study, but there is enough there to guide us toward our own variations of the framework.There are three key things we can learn from himLive in accordance with nature. By using our experience to study nature and then refining this experience with reason, we can harmonize our drives with the broader reality around us. We are a ve ry small part of the cosmic dance, one that moves through us, and its our job to ensure that we are living in ways that are honest to it.See virtue as the source of goodness. If there is a conflict between our experience and the broader nature, we can either fight against it or seek to harmonize with it. Its our responsibility to adjust our reactions to things once they have occurred and once they are outside our control. Virtue and goodness are born from how well we do this.Have a neutral valuation of the world. Things that exist externally arent good or bad in themselves they are neutral. Nonetheless, even though virtue is born within and goodness can only be created internally, the external world does have a role to play. Health and wealth and community are preferable to the alternatives.We may have our own terminology for it, but something like virtue is inherent in all of our conceptual model of reality. Our job is simply to remember what we already know.Being stoic has a lot t o do with being resilient and strong, yes, but its also a way of life.Want to think and live smarter? Zat Rana publishes a free weekly newsletter for 30,000+ readers atDesign Luck.Thisarticlewas originally published onDesign Luck.

How to Speak Slowly During a Job Interview

How to Speak Slowly During a Job InterviewHow to Speak Slowly During a Job InterviewReaders of a certain age will remember those humorous commercials of our childhoods when an impossibly fast narrator would pitch the wonders amassing your very own fleet of miniature toy cars. If your gray hairs and memories dont quite reach that far back, then most of us can at least pinpoint that one friend or acquaintance that rambles on at breakneck speed through even the most relaxed of conversations. While unterstellung scenarios may come off as amusing at the time, rapid speaking is hard to understand and makes it difficult to maintain a multi-sided discussion. During an interview, speaking too quickly can also create the appearance of nervousness, undermining much-needed confidence on the part of both candidates and interviewers.Confident, clear and well-paced conversation is an essential skill to master before entering any interview room. If youre one of the many that get a case of the jitter s or has a bad habit of speaking too quickly, weve got a few tips and tricks to help slow things down.Practice Pacing Your Rate of SpeechSimilar to the way that you would review the job description, perform due diligence on the prospective employer, or prep your resume, practicing your speech is an essential part of preparing for your in person or telephone interview. Studies show that the ideal rate of conversational speech is 130 to 150 words per minute. Trust us, this is much fewer than it sounds. Using a word count feature, type up around 300 words of your choice. While your favorite song, poem, or high school speech and debate presentation are more than acceptable, a personal description of your work experience may be a bit more applicable and true to life. With a digital timer in hand, recite your 300-ish words, stopping the time when youve wrapped the entire diatribe. If you schliff too early, practice slowing down your verbiage. Run over, consider hurrying things up a bit. A fter a few tries, youll develop an ear for proper pacing.Be an Active ListenerIn addition to practicing your rate of speech, developing active listening skills is another handy method to pace both your individual speech and the speed of the conversation itself. In typical social situations with friends or family, familiarity with individuals speech patterns often leads us to run over, interrupt or anticipate others comments. In an interview, however, candidates should make a concerted effort to listen to the interviewers full questions and explanations without adding in extraneous comments or interjecting. In addition to helping the conversation develop a more natural and engaging pace, learning to listen to your interviewer can help you identify key facts to use at a later date to show youre capable of collecting and applying facts, figures and critical information which are key soft skills employers look for in quality candidates. Remember to Relaxand BreatheMany candidates have p erfectly normal, slow pacing of their speech in social situations but find themselves running their mouths a mile a minute in an interview. This often has less to do with actual skills and more to do with a serious case of interview-induced jitters.While weve espoused on techniques to reduce interview nervousness previously, its worth a quick recap of speech and verbal pacing in mind. If you feel your nerves starting to act up during an interview, try taking a few deep breaths to collect yourself. Limit the amount of caffeine you take in prior to the interview as this can spike blood pressure and cause artificially induced jitteriness. If you find yourself doubting your ability to remember, try bringing a notepad into your interview. Your prospective employer will appreciate both your preparedness and attention to detail while youll have a crutch to lean on for a quick self-confidence.As the last word of advice, the best way to combat nerves, slow your speech and increase your chanc es at landing a lucrative job offer is to show up prepared with plenty of practice under your belt. Plenty of practice prior to your interview will serve a variety of important functions, all of which will help you move that much closer to landing the job of your dreams.

How to make your marriage awesome 6 secrets from a top divorce lawyer

How to make your marriage awesome 6 secrets from a top divorce lawyer How to make your marriage awesome 6 secrets from a top divorce lawyer Actually, I lied. This is  not  a “how-to.”Good god, there are so many “how-to” posts about relationships, it’s exhausting. (I’m tired of them and I’m responsible for  plenty  of them  myself.)  So let’s mix it up, shall we?Follow Ladders on Flipboard!Follow Ladders’ magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and more!This is a “how-not-to.”How  not  to make the mistakes that destroy relationships, marriages, and happiness. I’m the guy who loves looking at academic research, but I also feel we gain a lot from  non-academic experts. I’ve talked to FBI hostage negotiators about  lowering your cable bill, Navy SEALs on  how to be more resilient, and bomb disposal experts on  how to stay calm under pressure.So what can a top divorce attorney tell you about how to make sure you never, ever have to step foot in his office? A lot, actually.James Sexton has handled more than 1000 divorces. He doesn’t claim to know what makes a relationship work… but he sure knows what  doesn’t.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:I’ve had a ringside seat to countless ruined or doomed-from-the-start relationships. After two decades of performing this profoundly intimate service for so many ex-spouses-to-be, as well as for people in myriad other relationship permutations (e.g., living together; having a child in common), the sheer bulk of these observations has turned into wisdom of sorts.His book is “If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late.” Given that divorce is one of the few things that can put a  permanent dent  in your happiness levels, we should let James play Virgil to our Dante and tour us through this netherworld so we never have to take up residence there.Learning lessons from the successful is great, but sometimes we get more from looking at those who didn’t fare as well - so we can avoid their mistakes.Time for the not-so-happy to show us how to be happier. Let ’s get to it…Define “A Good Marriage”Go ahead â€" I dare you. No vague platitudes, either.sound of cricketsIt’s not easy, is it? Honestly, it’s not even a fair question because  every person’s definition would be different. In fact, your own definition would almost certainly change at different points in your life: before kids, after kids, during retirement, etc.But we rarely answer this question. And rarer still is getting clear on the answer with your spouse. Does tying your happiness to the achievement of an undefined goal seem like a very good strategy to you?From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:If you’ve thought long and hard about what marriage means, congratulations: You’re different from many of my clients… What roles, specifically, will you play in this person’s life, and they in yours? What do you get in exchange for doing this? What’s the job description of marriage?This is a big problem. James says marriages fail for only two re asons.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:I have learned, over and over, that marriages and other committed relationships fail for two fundamental reasons. 1) You don’t know what you want. 2) You can’t express what you want. End of story.So what’s your definition of a happy marriage? What responsibilities does that entail? What are you entitled to and what are you not? And is your spouse on the same page?Truth is, people  do  answer these questions eventually…But, unfortunately, it’s often once they’re already sitting in James’ office.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:It’s strange to me- sad, actually- that the first time people ask themselves these questions is, quite often, in my office, when they’re in the process of crumpling up the future that wasn’t. Isn’t this inquiry something that married people should be doing on a regular basis? Individually, and especially together? In simply talking things out with me- oft en brutally, but clearly and in detail- my clients gain a real sense of how they define generic, vague terms such as “success,” “happiness,” and “security,” often for the first time in their adult life. When is the last time you and your spouse discussed what it specifically means to be “happy” and how you each define that term?Have this conversation with yourself. And have it with your spouse. That way you don’t have to have it with James.(To learn more about how you can lead a successful life, check out my bestselling book  here.)Okay, we’ve covered the big picture. So what else is vital when it comes to communicating with your spouse?Be Hyper-Honest With Your PartnerYeah, I know: sounds cliche. “Be honest with your partner.” But we’re going way past polite honesty here. We’re going to Stage-4-Cringe-Level-Honesty.The kind where you start to grimace in pain at just the  idea  of saying that thing out loud.We assume far too many things are obvious. And i t’s often very self-serving. It prevents us from having uncomfortable conversations or having to ask for things that are scary. But we still want to be able to call our partner out if they don’t do-the-thing-we-never-actually-mentioned. I’m not a lawyer but  last time I checked, contracts that only one person has signed aren’t enforceable.Of course, James hears people complain about their spouses  a lot. But when he asks, “Did you tell them that?” the most common response is, “Well, they should have known.”People can’t hear what you don’t say.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:No one- not even individuals in really happy couples, or with exceptional hearing- can hear what the other person isn’t saying. It’s easy to look at couples on the verge of a breakup and nod about their lack of communication: “Well, of course they broke up- they long ago stopped communicating frequently and effectively.” But that could also be Monday-morning-qua rterbacking. Flip the sentiment and it makes just as much sense: “They don’t communicate frequently and effectively, so of course they’re bound to break up.”If you don’t tell them, they can’t address it. So you stay irritated. And resentment festers. And that leads to arguments that reach  call-911-levels  because the argument isn’t about what the argument is about.So communicate early and often. Say that thing, even if it makes you uncomfortable.  Especially  if it makes you uncomfortable. Because grievances that go unspoken accumulate compound interest at a faster rate than your 401K.You wouldn’t ignore your bank balance for a month. Don’t ignore the state of your relationship for that long either. Fix the small cavity so it’s not a root canal later.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:Everything comes out eventually- everything… One reason to get it all out is to make things unpleasant sooner rather than later, because the later unpleasant is way more unpleasant…The other reason is so that the real problem can be discovered before it gets buried. We try so hard not to chip the glass that we shatter it. We try so hard not to cause our spouse mild irritation with a difficult conversation that we inadvertently create a major issue in our relationship that never gets fixed and that leads to much larger problems.Have your spouse read this post. And then when something comes up, you can say, “Can we have a hyper-honesty moment?” Timing is important. Yes, sooner beats later but you don’t want to have serious relationship discussions when someone is late for work or operating a bandsaw.Focus on talking about your feelings. Avoid blame and accusations.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:…share how you’re feeling without attempting to explain it. You feel how you feel. And those feelings have repercussions both short- and long-term. They inform how we relate to our spouse or partner on a day-to- day basis. They create habits that build intimacy or distance. We owe it to ourselves and our partners to share the building blocks of our inner lives before those little blocks create a wall that separates us from them.(To learn the four most common relationship problems and how to fix them, click  here.)Okay, we’ve gotten past the honesty issue…Oops, sorry. No, we haven’t. Because we’ve neglected the person you’re often the least honest with…Be Hyper-Honest With  YourselfPeople lie to James constantly. And there’s no reason to. He’s legally bound by confidentiality. And he’s seen it all - so he’s not judging. And, most importantly, he needs to know the facts to help his client get the best resolution. But they lie anyway. Why?Because they’re not really lying to  him. They’ve been lying to themselves for so long they don’t even know it’s not the truth.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:The most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ou rselves. The unexamined life may not be worth living, but it appears to be incredibly popular, at least from where I’m sitting.Everybody has a pretty good idea of what they want from their spouse. But the question that’s rarely asked is what  you’re  really capable of. How much are you truly willing to give and do on a daily basis without being nagged to death or having a gun to your head?From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:Why wait until you’re getting divorced (or heading in that direction) to be honest with yourself about what you’re capable of in your relationship with your spouse and/or your children? …be honest with yourself, right now, about how far you really think you would be willing to go for your partner.At what point does your response to marital adversity go from “We’ll find a way, dear” to “Whoa, I didn’t sign on for this crap”?Know your weaknesses. You can’t address them if you don’t admit them to yourself.From  If Youâ €™re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:Be honest with yourself, deeply and painfully honest. Admit to yourself what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. Admit to yourself how much time you have to devote to the goals you’re trying to achieve as a parent or partner, and what you’re doing with that time. Be honest about the aspects of partnership and/or parenting that you enjoy and the ones that you loathe (or maybe could take or leave).And on a semi-regular basis, give yourself an honest progress report. Are you doing your part? Are you putting as much effort into the marriage as you did planning the wedding?Realistic, achievable goals in terms of improving your marriage come from brutal honesty with yourself and clear, actionable steps you can take.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:Why not look closely at certain key areas in your marriage and give yourself an unflinchingly honest progress report as to what you’re actually doing? While youâ €™re at it, maybe you can compare that totally candid report against an equally honest, tangible set of goals that aren’t made up of conclusory statements lacking in measurable meaning. “I want to be more present in my marriage.” What the hell does that mean? It’s a conclusion. It’s a destination, not a path to get there. How about something more tangible, like “I want to stop playing with my phone when my spouse is talking to me” or “I want to do more activities on the weekends with my spouse.”It’s very easy to express commitment to a principle. It’s much harder to consistently take actions that demonstrate that commitment.(To learn the two-word morning ritual that will make you happy all day, click  here.)Okay, lots of honesty flying around. And in the long term, that’s great. In the short term, uh, it might lead to a little bit of conflict…A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide To ArguingJames argues for a living. (He tells his kids he won’t argue with them for fr ee because it wouldn’t be fair to his paying clients.)  Luckily, this means he has learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t in dispute resolution - especially in the marriage sphere.Here are a few of his key principles gleaned from all too many conversations with people who were ending their unions:1) Don’t be obsessed with being right or winningIf you try to win every single point your reward will be a bonus round where you try to win as much as you can in the divorce proceedings.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:Shoot for resolution rather than full satisfaction… When it comes to the person you love, you can concede once in a while. Which is more important: having your perspective on an issue validated and the ego gratification of being right, or the feeling of connection that comes with being both understood and understanding? Which is more important: the feeling that you won the argument or the feeling that you’re winning at the larger gam e of love and companionship?2) Keep the discussion focused on the topic at handThis prevents “you left the lights on” from spiraling into “why you are a subhuman troll not worthy of my love.”From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:Keep disputes focused; don’t take current behavior and start extrapolating larger trends in the relationship because, in the moment, it might seem like a good idea to “get them out in the open” and “hash them out.” Such leaps are dangerous, and they’re dirty pool…3) For the love of god, don’t start arguments over things that cannot be changedDo you have a time machine? I doubt your spouse has a time machine. So don’t get into arguments over things that can only be resolved with a time machine.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:Sure, there are times when your spouse did or said something stupid and they’re likely to do it or say it again if the behavior is left unchecked. In those circumstance s, it might be worth having the argument… If you’re just holding a grudge and upset with your spouse about something unrelated and it’s impossible to change or undo, tread lightly.So what  should  you do during a marital spat?Before you open your mouth, think about the part of them that you fell in love with. And then imagine that the next thing they’re going to do is pay a visit to James.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:Imagine you’re going to lose your spouse later today- that they’re going to leave you today because of something you’ve done to them. How would you treat them then? Exactly as you think they would want to be treated, right? By the time I see couples, they’ve reached the point where it’s almost impossible for them to remember that the person they’re about to divorce was once the person they loved more than anyone in the world, the person whose happiness they would do anything to bring about. Solid couples who have hit a roug h patch sometimes suffer a similar amnesia. If you conjure an image of your partner’s best self and address that person, you can often defuse a fight or break an impasse.We remember the cruel remarks better than the compliments, so be careful when emotions flare.(To learn the secret to never being frustrated again, click  here.)So what will improve your marriage that has nothing to do with your marriage?Get A Life (Outside Of Your Partner)Make time for you. Yourself. As an individual. Yeah, you’ve heard it before, I know. But I’m here to confirm that neglecting this  really  does lead to bad things. James sees it all the time.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:Don’t lose your identity in your marriage or in becoming a parent. I’m not here to regurgitate the obvious. But I would like to point out just how often this issue, in one form or another, is at the root of so many divorces… The marriage vows ask us to forsake all others. They do not demand tha t we forsake all the other good things we can be.Don’t become boring. Not that anyone wants to be boring, but it happens. A lot. And it’s a sad irony that a 110% focus on your marriage can make you boring which can then end your marriage. (I don’t make the rules, okay? I’m here to help. Seriously.)The Facebook-fueled competition to have the perfect life combined with helicopter parenting can leave you a hollowed out shell that is no longer human. You can become little more than a life support system for a family unit.This won’t make you happy and it won’t make your spouse happy either.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:You stay interesting to your partner by staying interested in things outside your life together. You stay interesting to yourself- therefore better equipped to stay interesting to your partner- by stepping outside the marriage, from time to time, to find satisfaction. Your spouse can be a lot of things for you without being everything. Why the hell did we start trying to have one person be everything? Who thought that was a good idea?I know, you’re busy with the kids. Here’s where James has some very unconventional advice:Pretend you’re divorced.No, don’t download Tinder and buy a Porsche. Engage in  informal  â€œcustodial rotation.” Have days where “your spouse gets the kids” and where “you get the kids.” To allow each of you to have time to recharge and be an individual.Kids can harm a marriage. (Yeah, I said it.) Kids can turn your passionate lover into a neutered business partner in a new venture called “Kids, Inc.” But it doesn’t have to be that way.“Rotate custody.” Stay an individual. Stay interesting to yourself and your partner.Added bonus: an occasional day away will make you appreciate your family all the more.(To learn the science behind a *good* marriage, click  here.)We’ve covered a lot of big picture stuff. What about the day-to-day?Remember: “Love” Is A VerbThe ch ild’s game is called “show and tell.” In that game, showing is easy and telling is the hard part. With marriage it’s the reverse. Saying you love someone is easy. Putting in the effort every day to make them feel loved can be hard.What does James say is the biggest threat to any long-term relationship? Slippage. We get lazy. We take things for granted. We take our partner for granted.Marriages end gradually. And then suddenly.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:The biggest danger in a long-term relationship: slippage. Because- again- no one raindrop causes the flood… It’s trite to say, but nothing that you don’t focus on- your abs, your stamp collection- will magically thrive. It will stagnate, then wither. Eventually. Why should your marriage be different? So many of my clients misspent their emotional resources on things around the marriage, until they became so depleted, there was nothing left for the marriage. They had stopped paying attention.H ow do we resist this? You need to zap yourself with the gratitude defibrillator every now and then.We can take our partner for granted and get resentful. It’s all too easy to weave a victim narrative where you do everything and they do nothing. And then we feel entitled and do less and then they do less and it’s a sprint to absolute zero and the heat death of the relationship.So sit down and make a list of the good things your spouse does for you. (We all seem to be pretty good at remembering what we do for them, oddly.)From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:For partners who’ve been together a while, how do you guard against slipping into the entitlement mindset? Sit down and write a list of all the things your spouse does for you. Is it hard to do? Did you ever stop and think about it? You can go big or small. You can start with the big ones, such as companionship, conversation, sex, or you can get more logistical- “picks up the kids,” “takes out the tr ash.” Hopefully, the list isn’t limited to “takes out the trash.” I bet you’ll be surprised at how much your spouse does. What would you miss if they were suddenly gone from your life or from the home you share together?Zap yourself with the gratitude defibrillator. It can restart your heart.(To learn how to deal with passive aggressive people, click  here.)We’ve completed our tour of Hades. Please unbuckle your seat belt and exit through the gift shop.Time to round up the takeaways and learn the real reason why most people end up divorced - so that you won’t…Sum UpHere’s how to stay out of James’ office: Define “good marriage”: If you don’t know what your goal is, how can you achieve it? Be hyper-honest with your spouse: Say it in a conversation or a deposition. Your choice. Be hyper-honest with yourself: Know your weaknesses and you can prevent them. If you don’t, bad “luck” will follow you forever. Argue well: As James likes to say,  â€œMake the holes you dig shallow because the deep ones are hard to climb out of.” Get a life: Rotate custody so you never  really  have to rotate custody. “Love” is a verb: Gratitude defibrillator - STAT! Why do marriages end? Because they lost the thing that is most important. The core of marriage:Meaningful connection.From  If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late:Ask most people to name the two top reasons for divorce, and they’ll almost always guess correctly: cheating and ruinous money issues. But those are never the reasons for divorce- rather, they’re the symptoms of a bad marriage. Lack of meaningful connection and proper attention and enduring affection led to those lapses,Enough scary divorce talk. Start with the last tip: “Love” is a verb.Think of something kind your spouse does for you. Text them right now and let them know how much you appreciate it.Yes, you may sound a little crazy. That’s okay - being romantic is, by definition, a little crazy.The best kind of crazy there is.Join over 330,000 readers.  Get a free weekly update via email  here.This article first appeared on Bakadesuyo.com.  You might also enjoy… New neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happy Strangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds 10 lessons from Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule that will double your productivity The worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs 10 habits of mentally strong people

Training Session Offers Society Leaders Details on ONE ASME

Training Session Offers Society Leaders Details on ONE ASME Training Session Offers Society Leaders Details on ONE ASME Training Session Offers Society Leaders Details on ONE ASME On July 12, more than 100 volunteer leaders from ASMEs various technical divisions and Institutes took part in a training session during which they learned about ONE ASME - the Societys new organizational model that was approved by the Board of Governors during its meeting in April. The four-and-a-half hour meeting, which was held in Kansas City, Mo., was the first of three sessions designed to help Society volunteers better understand why the reorganization took place and how the new arrangement will operate. The training session, which volunteers could also attend via webinar, featured presentations by Board of Governors members Stacey Swisher Harnetty and Richard Laudenat, and three other ASME volunteers who were instrumental in the reorganization - Karen Ohland, former senior vice president, Knowledge and Community; Bobby Grimes, senior vice president of the new Technical Events and Content Sector; and Richard Marboe, vice president of the Programs and Activities Operating Board. In April, ASMEs Knowledge Community and Institutes Sectors were dissolved. A new Technical Events and Content (TEC) Sector was created to foster knowledge sharing between members, increase industry participation in ASME events, and make more efficient use of Society resources. Principal functions of the new sector include overseeing ASME technical conferences, events, webinars, and outreach programs, and managing all conference and event budgets. Copies of the brochure Engineering a Brighter Future, providing information on the new ONE ASME organizational model, were distributed at the training session in Kansas City. The brochure, pictured above, can now be downloaded from the ONE ASME Group page (https://community.asme.org/one_asme/default.aspx). The ONE ASME model also introduces a new Group Pathways and Support (GPS) system that is designed to encourage greater, more effective member engagement in ASME activities. The GPS consists of a network of volunteers and staff, along with various tools and resources, intended to advise groups on how to operate within ASME and make use of the Societys available programs and services. The GPS system will also give ASME volunteers the ability to help the Society develop new products and services, according to Michael Ireland, managing director of the new TEC Sector. Our volunteers know their markets well, but weve never really asked them to help us identify new opportunities, he said. The GPS will allow volunteers to engage with the Society, and then they are there to help the Society better understand the needs of the customer so that we create better products and programs to meet their needs. Were always looking for ideas, and now theres a process for members to put those ideas forward. The GPS System Group Page, to be posted on ASME.org in coming weeks, will serve as the hub for information exchange and provide links to additional direct communication tools, such as the online Requisition Tool, which can be used to submit inquiries, requests, and ideas and proposals for new programs. In the meantime, the GPS team can be reached by e-mail at GPS@asme.org. I truly believe the new ONE ASME strategy and approach will position us for game-changing growth as a Society going forward, doing more good than ever before for humankind by more effectively implementing the mission-driven strategies and priorities as expressed by our Board of Governors, added Grimes. The newly established pathways of engagement, GPS framework, and TEC Sector should unleash the potential of our subject matter expert volunteers working collegially with our staff professionals in newly defined, complementary relationships. While we previously participated primarily in our own silos, individuals and groups will now be able to engage in many more ways across the Society which should increase personal satisfaction and deliver more value for others, Grimes continued. This represents the inflection point we will look back on in a few years and marvel at how we realized the mission and financial growth objectives set by our ASME leadership team.The best is yet to come! Two additional training sessions will be offered in September and October for leaders of the Societys geographic Sections. The meetings, to be held Sept. 27 in Houston and Oct. 11 in Istanbul, Turkey, will also be webcast live for Section members who wont be able to attend in person. As space is limited in these training events, invitations will be going out soon requesting that individuals RSVP if they plan on attending in person. For more details on ONE ASME, visit the ONE ASME Group Page on ASME.org at https://community.asme.org/one_asme/default.aspx, where you can view a short video or download a copy of the brochure Engineering a Brighter Future, which was distributed at the Kansas City training session.

Attorney Finds Passion as Environmental Law Advocate

Attorney Finds Passion as Environmental Law Advocate Attorney Finds Passion as Environmental Law Advocate Laura Godfrey Zagar is a San Diego attorney who practices environmental law and litigation. As ?a  partner at the Environment, Energy Resources practice at Perkins Coie, she has played a prominent part in several innovative transmission lines and renewable energy projects. She regularly manages multijurisdictional, complex energy, and infrastructure projects as well as complex environmental litigation. Laura represents utilities, energy developers, and others before federal, state, and local agencies. Her project experience includes numerous major transmission lines, as well as wind and solar projects. Laura has extensive experience with the California Public Utilities Commission, as well as federal, state and local land use and natural resource agencies. One area of her in-depth knowledge is the transmission planning process, particularly as conducted by the California Independent System Operator (CAISO). Here’s a look at Laura and the work she does in the environmental law field, and why she’s passionate about her work. 1. Why did you decide to go to law school (and where did you go), and become a lawyer?I wish I had a wise and reasoned explanation for why I went to law school, but I don’t. Coming out of college, I erroneously thought my options were limited - grad school, consulting, investment banking, or law school - and law school was the most appealing of those options. In retrospect, this view was not accurate. However, I do not regret my decision, as law school was the right option. I enjoyed learning how to think like a lawyer and how the right answers to a problem are not always as black and white as we think it might be initially.   2. Why did you choose your practice area? What about it excites you?I chose environmental and energy law initially because of the people that worked in this area both within the firm and the clients tended to be grounded with good senses of humor. What kept me in the practice area, however, are the interesting and important issues that we are confronting as a society in the environmental and energy areas. It is meaningful to contribute to our society’s response to these challenges. In short, when I turn the lights on, it’s very gratifying to know that I helped make that happen.   3. Tell me about the work you do in your Environment, Energy Resources practice. What are some of the cases youve worked on?My practice is an interesting hybrid of regulatory, transactional, and litigation work. Much of my work focuses on assisting clients in navigating the complex federal, state, and local regulatory schemes governing the development of energy and infrastructure projects. For instance, I have assisted clients in the development of major transmission line projects in Southern California that cross federal lands, state lands, and a number of communities. There are often many federal, state, and local agencies that have a say on where and how these projects should be constructed. Working with my clients, I help navigate this regulatory gauntlet to successfully get the project constructed safely, on time, and in compliance with environmental regulations. I also represent clients in litigation involving complex environmental issues, ranging from challenges to infrastructure projects to the remediation of a contaminated property.   4. Why is environmental law important today?As a society, we are confronting serious environmental challenges, most notably climate change. With California leading the way globally, nearly every aspect of our lives may need to be reimagined. Our houses will be designed differently, our food will be grown differently, our yards will look different, and our means of transportation will change. Environmental laws are the primary drivers of these changes, including the Clean Air Act, the Endangered Species Act, and many states’ renewable energy and/or greenhouse gas reduction goals.   5. With many attorneys opting for a career in solo practice, why do you choose a firm career?Because of the nature of my practice, it is important to have a deep bench of specialists that can lend expertise as issues arise on the major infrastructure projects that make up a large portion of my practice. While I am highly knowledgeable on many of the issues that arise, such as endangered species and other natural resource issues, these projects often unexpectedly raise a wide range of environmental challenges. At Perkins Coie, I can call upon experts in nearly every facet of environmental and land use law into the project when the unexpected happens.   6. What else do you want to add about you, your practice, or advice for young attorneys?I encourage young attorneys to avoid writing off the practice of law because they are not enjoying the area in which they may initially practice. I tried several areas before ultimately landing in the environmental and energy practice area. Not all practice areas are the same, and often they each have their own personality. While someone may struggle in traditional commercial litigation practice, they might thrive in land use practice. To help figure out what areas may fit your personality best, talk to practitioners in the areas that interest you to see which would be the best fit.

Science says turn off all of those phone notifications immediately

Science says turn off all of those phone notifications immediately Science says turn off all of those phone notifications immediately Many of us know that the more time we spend on our smartphones, the more stressed out we feel. And while this self-awareness is an important first step, it often leaves us feeling even more helpless because we just watch ourselves fall into this rabbit hole time and time again rather than learning how to avoid it. Well, science is here to save the day (as always) with one simple answer:  disable all notifications.A  study  from Carnegie Mellon University and Telefonica suggests that using your smartphone sans notifications for a mere 24-hour period can noticeably improve your concentration, as well as reduce your stress levels.Back in 2015, the researchers originally set out to find a group of participants who would voluntarily disable all phone notifications for a week-long study, but apparently,  no one was willing to do that. (How  sad.) So, they adjusted their expectations and tried again to recruit participants who would be willing to turn off all of their phone notifications fo r 24 hours and ended up with a pool of 30 people. This group proceeded to complete the “Do Not Disturb Challenge” for a day, and then the researchers surveyed them on how they felt afterward and, two years later, observed whether their behavior toward phone notifications changed at all.While  some of the participants did feel anxious about missing messages  during the 24-hour period, on the whole, the group saw an improvement in concentration ability and a reduction in overall stress levels. The day after the experiment ended, 22 of the 30 individuals told the researchers that  this brief experience  made them want to rethink how much of a pull their phones have on them in their everyday lives.  Two years later, 13 of them had followed through on that desire and even reduced the number of push notifications they allowed their phones to send them.This study was definitely limited by its size, but that doesn’t make it any less important. In 2015  the average person received appr oximately 64 phone notifications per day, so just imagine how much that number likely increased over the past two years and how much it impacts us today. You might just think of it as a chirp here and a chirp there, but all of that phone noise adds up - and in a substantial way.This article was originally published on Swirled.

Tips for Correctly Formatting Your Resume

Tips for Correctly Formatting Your Resume Tips for Correctly Formatting Your Resume If you’re in the process of writing, rewriting, or updating your resume, you’ve probably worried about all sorts of things- the order of different sections, whether to leave out certain information, and more. But have you thought about the best choices for formatting your resume? Good news: we’ve done some of the thinking or you! During my time as a college career advisor, I reviewed hundreds of resumes. I’ve also talked with dozens of recruiters and hiring managers about what they prefer to see when a resume arrives in their inbox. Just as you’re attracted to or repelled from websites and publications because of their formatting, recruiters and hiring managers can be enticed by or driven away from a resume based on its formatting. Follow these rules-of-the-resume-road to draw a recruiter’s attention and maximize the impact you can have with formatting your resume: 1. Leave fancy formatting to professional resume writers. It might be tempting to get fancy with your resume, but if you’re formatting the document on your own (and you aren’t a graphic designer or professional resume writer), simple formats are the way to go. The vast majority of resumes are first screened by an applicant tracking system (ATS), so your document needs to be readable by a computer, first and foremost. Formats should be largely text-based, though you can add some creativity with font choice and a bit of color. 2. Format your resume yourself instead of using a template. If you’re like most people, spending the time to format your resume is as fun as going to the dentist or doing your taxes. Why waste that time when Microsoft Word and other programs have so many templates to use? I beg of you, don’t use a pre-built template. Resume templates are difficult to personalize, they make terrible use of space, and they take away a lot of your options for showcasing your information in the best way. Hiring managers cringe at template resumes and they aren’t impressed with them. In fact, some recruiters think a resume template is a sign that the candidate doesn’t understand Microsoft Word well enough to create a basic resume. You might save time (though, wrestling those templates is often time-wasting!), but you will lose valuable job search capital by not formatting the document yourself. 3. Don’t take lightly your choice of font. CNBC interviewed typographers to discover the best fonts to use on your resume: Georgia, Merriweather, Constantia, Calibri, and Gill Sans. Resume writers Ive spoken with also recommend these classics: Times New Roman, Garamond, Arial, and Trebuchet. When in doubt, choose a common font. Send your document to a couple friends to see if your font is common enough to appear on their computers, too. If it’s not, you’ll see just how wonky your document will look to a recruiter. 4. Build in white space. What makes a resume easy to read? A good balance of white space and text. Resumes that are wall-to-wall text are difficult for people to scan, and recruiters almost always scan documents rather than thoroughly reading them. 5. Let your resume mirror the industry where you want to work. Your choice of resume format will often depend on which industry you’re hoping to work in. Traditional formatting, font, and color choices are best for traditional industries, whereas more creative industries might expect to see more creative resumes. When in doubt, ask friends and networking contacts if you can view their resumes to spark ideas for your own. 6. Consider two resumes: one for computer scanners and one for human beings. Your resume will almost always be read first by a computer (an applicant tracking system, as mentioned earlier), and second by a human (a recruiter or hiring manager). One option is having a traditional, text-based resume to submit to the applicant tracking system and a well-formatted, more creative resume to submit to the hiring manager or contact at the company. Each document should convey the same information, but each audience will have an easier time reading their specific version. 7. Convert your resume to a PDF before sending. You’re probably creating your resume in Microsoft Word or a similar word processing program. But from those programs, you can save your resume in different file formats. Which should you choose? Saving your resume as a PDF is a good option because it ensures the formatting is consistent regardless of the computer where it’s being read. You can convert your resume to PDF directly from the word processing program youve used. Dont make this fatal mistake: scanning a printed paper copy of your printed resume to create a static file. Some job seekers think that’ll produce the same thing as a PDF but it won’t! Instead, scanning a paper resume into your computer turns your resume into an image file, which is completely unreadable by applicant tracking systems. And it’s not always easy to read by recruiters, depending on the quality of the scan. Other file types to avoid: .txt, .rtf, and .pages. And, since not everyone has the latest Microsoft Word version, you might want to avoid .docx. When in doubt, submit a .DOC file to applicant tracking systems for maximum scannability, and a PDF to recruiters and hiring managers when you know they’ll be reading your resume directly. If youre a member, you can have your resume reviewed or written at a discounted rate! members have access to exclusive, deeply-discounted career coaching and resume reviews with our team of career coaches! Work with a career coach in a one-on-one career coaching session, have a resume reviewed and updated, or both.   Not a member? Sign up today!

4 signs indecision is stunting your career progress

4 signs indecision is stunting your career progress 4 signs indecision is stunting your career progress Making a career change can be a legitimately scary proposition. Work definitely takes up many of our waking hours and can also be a central aspect of our identities. It also pays the rent. So, taking job-related risks can have real, and negative, consequences. At the same time, avoiding smart risks that can help you advance your career can also negatively impact you. Below are four signs that, by avoiding that next step, you are actually sabotaging yourself.1. It’s been a long time since you got a raise.If you’re performing well at your job, it’s not unreasonable to hope for an annual pay increase. In fact, some companies make salary adjustments an automatic part of yearly performance reviews. If this isn’t your situation, it’s important to learn how to initiate conversations about pay with your supervisor. Asking for a raise can be awkward, partially because we have strong cultural taboos around talking about money. There are also ineffective ways of asking for a raise tha t can burn bridges rather than increase your pay. However, research indicates that open conversations about salary can help women and people of color get compensated more fairly. There are also things you can do to prepare for a conversation with your manager that will increase your chances of a raise. There can be good reasons not to ask for a raise at work, but indecision isn’t one of them.2. You’re not learning new things.When was the last time you learned something new at work? There is mounting research evidence that learning has enormous psychological and health benefits. The office is a natural place to engage in lifelong learning. Not only do we spend much of our lives there, but getting new skills can also have career benefits. If you’ve been in your position a long time, it can feel comfortable to be on autopilot. It’s true that stretch projects and certifications often involve added responsibility, time, and even money. However, not investing in your own learning can have costs, too.3. You have unresolved conflicts with colleagues.Workplace conflict is inevitable: after all, we spend almost 8 hours a day with coworkers working on high-stakes projects. While there’s probably no way to get around conflict being uncomfortable, there are ways to handle it constructively. In fact, when handled well, conflict can lead to deeper team relationships and more creative solutions to problems.4. You’re staying in a job that is no longer a good fit.Looking for a new job can be terrifying, even if you don’t really like your current gig. However, there are times when looking for a new job is likely worth the risk. If you’ve tried some of the ideas above to improve your situation and are still feeling miserable, it might be worth exploring new opportunities. It’s also important to remember that part of the interview process is you evaluating the company, not just them evaluating you. Doing some research during your interview process can help you de cide whether a potential employer is a good fit. The anonymous reviews by other women on Fairygodboss are a great place to start.Taking that next step, whether it’s initiating a tough conversation, taking on a stretch project, or looking for a new position, can be anxiety-provoking. Just remember that sticking with the status quo is also a decision - and one that can have costs as well. Taking risks can be worth it, particularly when you’ve done your homework in advance.Rebecca Fraynt has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and is an all-around healthcare nerd. She lives near Seattle with her husband, toddler, and two rescue chihuahuas. When she’s not working or chasing her dogs or child around the house, she’s guzzling coffee, reading, or binge-watching Star Trek.A version of this post previously appeared on Fairygodboss, the largest career community that helps women get the inside scoop on pay, corporate culture, benefits, and work flexibility. Founded in 2015, Fairygodboss of fers company ratings, job listings, discussion boards, and career advice.

10 Highly Competitive Cities With an Influx of Job Seekers

10 Highly Competitive Cities With an Influx of Job Seekers 10 Highly Competitive Cities With an Influx of Job Seekers Moving for a job is a big decision. Many factors go into the choice to pick up everything and head to a new city for a gig, but the fact remains that there are certain places in the country that are just more attractive to job seekers than others. They’re home to companies that offer higher salaries and better company cultures, which attractive to professionals who are willing to move house. In fact, research shows that people who relocate for work often do so because they want to work for a particular company, rather than specifically wanting to move to a new locale. And while these cities may be more competitive for job seekers than most places in America, you can up your chances of getting hired by being an informed candidate . If you’re on the hunt for a new position and you’re open to moving, here are ten places to focus your search. It’s no surprise that the heart of the country’s tech scene was found to be the number one destination for job movers in Glassdoor’s Metro Movers Research Report . Innovative companies like Uber , Salesforce , and Facebook , are actively hiring in the metropolis, but those who work in other industries are attracted to the city too, since Walmart , Kimpton Hotels and Resorts , and Fitbit are also hiring there. The Big Apple took the second slot, which makes sense considering that many major corporations, startups, and medium-sized companies are headquartered there- everything from JP Morgan to NBC Universal to Goldman Sachs . It’s also home to some of Glassdoor’s Best Places to Work , like McKinsey & Company and New York Presbyterian Hospital . Plenty of companies that are headquartered elsewhere, like Facebook and Bain & Company , also have NYC branches that are currently hiring. While cost of living is high, salaries are also on the high end, so moving to the city for the right job could be a cost-effective decision. Just about an hour’s drive from San Francisco is the San Jose area, which boasts the presence of tech giants like Apple , Cisco Systems , and Adobe Systems . With plenty of suburban living areas nearby, people who aren’t interested in living somewhere with the ‘hustle and bustle’ of a more densely-concentrated city population are often interested in moving to this area for a new position. If you’re sensing a theme here, it’s that California is a hotspot for job seekers. The iconic city of L.A. is no exception, since aside from the Hollywood buzz at employers like Netflix and the Walt Disney Company , companies like Lululemon , Delta Airlines , and In-N-Out Burger , are also hiring there. Politics might come to mind when you think of Washington D.C., and while it’s certainly true that there are government jobs to be found there, companies like SAP , Keller Williams , and Power Home Remodeling are also seeking out candidates in the area. Other top employers include health industry companies like Vibrent Health and consulting firms like Deloitte . A city that’s chock-full of history, Boston is another top destination for job seekers on the move. Some of the top-hiring companies in the area include Bose , Massachusetts General Hospital , Wayfair , IBM , and Boston Consulting Group . Though it’s not quite as prolific as San Francisco or San Jose, Seattle has a pretty serious tech scene. With the most popular employers for job movers being companies like Amazon , Microsoft , T-Mobile , Zillow , and Google , it’s easy to understand why this city attracts top talent. This trendy city is known for great food and a blossoming hipster culture, which might be part of the reason tech companies like PayPal , Facebook , and Amazon have presences there. Other major employers in the region include IBM , Dell , and University of Texas at Austin . Plenty of opportunity and a reasonable cost of living have made job movers excited about the prospect of moving to the Dallas-Forth Worth area, and employers like AMR Corporation , Lockheed Martin Corporation , Allstate , and Texas Instruments are all actively searching for new recruits. The Windy City is known for jazz music, amazing improv, and deep dish pizza, but companies like Motorola , Citadel Securities , Transunion , Discover , and Groupon are recruiting job seekers to move there for exciting career opps. The culture is just the icing on the cake.

How to successfully negotiate by using silence

How to successfully negotiate by using silence How to successfully negotiate by using silence You worry over what to say during critical meetings in your career, such as in interviews and negotiations, but what if you leveraged the power of silence to get what you deserve? Most people think silences are awkward and a sign of weakness in negotiation, but that’s far from the truth.Those awkward silences you fear may help you navigate a negotiation with success. The key lies in what you don’t say, rather than what you do say. Here are five tips on using silence to negotiate, and it all centers on embracing the pause.1. Say it out loud and waitWant more hourly pay? Ask: “Any chance you will go up to $x?” Say what you want and wait. It may take the other person time to sift through the question, all while feeling the need to fill the silence.Rather than you rambling about why you want or deserve the raise to fill the silence, you appear authoritative and patient. And now, make the most of that silence.2. Use positive and neutral body languageDon’t look away or like you†™re mocking them. Keep eye contact. Relax your shoulders, and direct a friendly yet confident posture toward them with a gentle smile.  Don’t let your body language contradict  what you negotiate for - look confidently into their eyes as you wait for a response. When your nonverbal communication matches your verbal, it reinforces the power of the message, point or question.People often forget that other forms of language exist beyond the verbal. Body language is the oldest form of communication. What does your body language say in a tough negotiation? Do you feel forced to break the silence first?3. Silence builds suspenseStorytelling proves a valuable asset during negotiations as you detail specific instances of your valuable contributions. Storytellers use various tools to bring the moral of the story home and create the right kind of tension. A great story uses suspense.Silence builds suspense as the stakes rise, and the more tension your story creates, the more suspense you c ultivate. That means your ending gains power and steam if you pace yourself correctly. Slow down during critical moments, and pause when necessary.Great speakers use pauses all the time, such as in TED talks. Powerfully used pauses communicate someone thoughtful who takes the time to consider a point or message, and when given to another, lends the other person time to weigh the issue.  Think before you accept an initial offer, since the pause may provoke a quicker reaction from the opposite party not to risk your rejection, gifting you with a higher salary. Suspense hangs in the air since humans feel compelled to fill the silence.4. Silence grounds you in your needYou spend ample time preparing for the negotiation, and you go into the meeting knowing exactly what you need and deserve. You have data and evidence to back up your contributions and worthiness and feel ready to go.In the middle of the negotiation, your nerves act up, and your train of thought derails. Starting to doubt yourself? Use silence to ground yourself and get back on track.Silence centers you in the present moment and slows you down enough  to look at your internal processing. You end up practicing dual awareness as both participant and observer. Any anxiety or doubt you feel doesn’t represent your core or reflect badly on your accomplishments - those are still stellar. Get that derailed thought train back on track, and use silence to ground yourself in your needs. Half the battle is knowing what you’re negotiating for, and when you feel the need behind it, you’re more likely to bring that passion to the table.5. Pausing allows you to listen and learnTactical silence is your new negotiation strategy, your ally when you hit a stalemate. You need to reach a breakthrough, but you’re unable to see eye to eye on the deal points. Prepare to embrace the pause, even though you may feel like you’re really doing nothing.The power of the pause allows you to listen and learn. Doing nothing at that moment helps the negotiation move along because communication still occurs. You actively listen with all your senses and have time to process the other party’s body language, along with the flow of the meeting.People don’t like ambiguity. Trust that the silence gets filled in your favor. Negotiation itself stretches like a tension-filled tightrope tugged as a conversation between two people. Placement matters, as does the pause.Silence is golden, they say, and it’ll bring home the gold when used strategically. You can train your relationship to pausing and silence through practicing mindfulness - the art of present, sensory awareness. Stay in the moment with yourself, breathe and observe without judgment.Silence empowers you to develop awareness, move through tough situations and gain space to give or receive an answer - especially one that gets you the numbers, perks and benefits you deserve.You may feel afraid that being silent during a negotiation makes you look l ike you offered up a nonverbal threat, but that’s not the case. The pause gives the other party a chance to take in what you said and have offered in the past through your stellar skillset and level of experience.When you control the pause, you stealthily steer the negotiation without tipping off the boss. Of course, you won’t spend the whole meeting in silence like a monk. You still need to state your case and back up what you say. Silence will help you pace yourself, refocus on your needs and achieve your negotiation goals.This article was originally published on PunchedClocks.com.

The Pitfall of Sample Administrative Assistant Resume

The Pitfall of Sample Administrative Assistant Resume Where to Find Sample Administrative Assistant Resume Basically, in the majority of the companies, the post of administrative assistant forms a more of an overall designation which may cover a huge array of job oriented task and skills and due to the exact same reason it complicates the procedure for writing a specific resume for the identical title. Though crafting an assistant manager resume is pain-staking procedure, hiring managers only devote a brief period of time looking at each. The very first step to applying for employment is making a resume. Instead, make sure to list your work experience before anything else, and ensure that any prior jobs you list are related to the one that you're currently seeking. Administrative single resource for assorted administrative functional resume letters. The below drafted administrative resume example will assist you in understanding all these sections in detail and also assist y ou in drafting an effective resume. Make sure you select the template which is most suitable for the job which you are applying for. When you're prepared to create your resume, have a look at our assistant manager resume templates for more details. The Sample Administrative Assistant Resume Cover Up After the HR manager will see that your resume is highly geared to their organization or industry, they will have a far greater impression of you. The rest of the employees should only be in a position to observe the files. Your objective statement is the initial section they see, so make certain you include skills that are related to the position and showcase your capacity in order to add value to the organization. You should demonstrate ways to be quite beneficial to the department for the advertised position. Vital Pieces of Sample Administrative Assistant Resume For example, if you have a substantial employment gap since your final position, you might want to use a functional resume rather than a chronological one. It is possible to also mention about any accounting certification or courses related to your job. Make certain that you have mentioned your academic along with professional qualification. The qualifications of the position largely be based on what sector you want to submit an application for. Objective has to be brief showing your wisdom and experience in the area of assistant's job. In addition, you can look for assistant manager jobs on Monster. Administrative assistant jobs are among the most often listed jobs in the employment market and employers are situated in a broad collection of industries. The HTML resume provides a speedy and convenient solution for getting your resume before possible employers and companies of interest. Your resume should include all of the information essential for the position. The Advantages of Sample Administrative Assistant Resume For instance, a school bus driver which gets their very first DUI ma y be illegible for future licensing. You're likely to understand how to write one yourself. Before even beginning to write, it's vital to comprehend what job you want. You will have lots of time to answer the exam questions, so there's no need to rush. Sample Administrative Assistant Resume Ideas The position must display leadership and exemplary behavior and can be asked to fulfill the duties of an overall manager in her or his absence. When choosing the HR KPIs, you've got to make sure you will measure the things that truly matter for the department. For example, if you're applying at a hospital, you should mention the way your record keeping and database management skills can let you do your work effectively. Management candidates have to be strong communicators to be able to support staff and customers and clients so highlighting your verbal and written skills is also advisable. The Fundamentals of Sample Administrative Assistant Resume Revealed Administrative assista nts may also be accountable for sending and receiving correspondence, together with greeting clients and customers. You might come across several office duties simple, but you may want to modify your mind when you get started doing it for yourself. It is wise to fulfill all reasonable requests of the trustee whenever possible. The secretary will subsequently examine the calendar and make certain availability, then lock the time with the prospect on the telephone. Read over the work description to find out what sorts of skills the position requires, and concentrate on those which you're strong in. There are lots of suggestions which are available related to resume writing. On the flip side, if you've limited or not work experience, keep your resume as much as a page. By way of example, in senior administrative resumes, you should begin with your work experience whilst in the entry level administrative assistant resumes, you ought to start by writing your abilities. Assistan ts supply an excellent administrative assistant. Recruiters are conversant with it so they'll know where to search for what they require. Resumes are mandatory when applying for any work post. Drafting a professional resume is not that simple. While writing a resume you need to always bear in mind the principal goal of drafting a resume. Nowadays you have your skills listed, you ought to be quite proud of yourself. Set your effort in to developing resume writing skills as it's a crucial skill you will have to have in gaining employment.

The Biggest Myth About Lab Assistant Resume Exposed

The Biggest Myth About Lab Assistant Resume Exposed To turn into an assistant of a nurse is a superb push to a fantastic career. A school leaver can make an application for an apprenticeship or an entry-level function. To become a health assistant, it's crucial that you highlight four significant areas in your cover letter. You will likely be requested to demonstrate standard nurse assistant skills like taking vital signs. For example, you might offer an expert summary that illustrates your career objectives and plans and your areas of scientific interest. Writing fantastic cover letters is an extremely effective strategy to ensure the middle of a prospective employer and doubles your likelihood of selecting the job which you dream about. While it's simple to get sidetracked with your resume, the cover letter can receive the interest of employers and offers you a chance to set yourself aside from the competition. If you're asking for work in an academic setting, like a lab at a university, place your education section close to the peak of your resume. The Pain of Lab Assistant Resume The Armed Forces also provides training. Nursing assistants are also able to offer bedside care as soon as the Registered Nurses are too preoccupied to do it themselves. So make certain to get in touch with your regional Department of Health and ask about the precise requirements. Applying for a Lab Technician position greatly depends on the capability of your written application to make an effect on the screening party. In addition, you can look for laboratory technician jobs on Monster. Lab techs require a number of technical skills to execute their jobs accurately and safely. They use various types of machinery, lab equipment and complex computer programs to perform their tests. The Key to Successful Lab Assistant Resume If you are searching for a new a job for a chemistry lab instructor, it's important to create a CV that reflects the relevant abilities and abilities and highlighting your key strengths. The very best training is going to be on the job and you will receive a better feel for what a regular day will be like. Use this lab assistant resume sample to put in an application for a job if you're an entry level job seeker free of experience in hand. A health assistant performs a good deal of jobs, all physically in addition to mentally demand ing. What is Actually Happening with Lab Assistant Resume Lab assistants must understand how to properly handle specimens according to established protocols and adhere to any regulations about the sort of sample. 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The Argument About Lab Assistant Resume In the event that you just don't have any sort of experience then the ideal point to do is exit and volunteer. While you're going to be anxious, the fact is that almost all folks discover that written exam to be a breeze. If you have trouble getting started on your health care assistant cover letter, taking a look at our sample cover letter can provide help. The resume of the 21st century should be a tiny bit of extra spicy. There are sample entries which may supply you with general ideas about how to create your qualifications and skills appear better. The benefits of employing a template The obvious reason behind taking advantage of a template is the way fast and easily it's potential to acquire in your resume with one another. When dealing with data and statistics, besides ensuring the info is accurate, it's important to have the ability to meet project deadlines and manage your time to achieve your ends. 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Creative Resume Maker Online Free Reviews & Guide

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What Needs to be Done About Caregiver Resume Sample

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Restaurant Manager Resume Reviews & Guide

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Facts, Fiction and Restaurant Resume Examples

Facts, Fiction and Restaurant Resume Examples Top Restaurant Resume Examples Secrets Describe the particular knowledge you have as it is related to the foodservice business, with an emphasis on the particular skills that are relevant to the position you are searching for. Be certain you list your relevant abilities and any certifications you might have, like your absolutely free restaurant resume templates Handler's card. Make certain to list your relevant abilities and any certifications you might have, including your easy resume examples Handler's card. The food retail company is consistently growing. Our resume builder will provide you with tips and examples about how to compose your resume summary. Make certain that you get the info you're looking for. You have to offer relevant, concise details. Be ready to provide certain examples. If you want to compose a good resume that may help you raise your odds of getting hired, you're in the appropriate place. Your odds of getting the job can become very slim when it happens. For that reason, it makes a whole lot of sense to understand how to create wonderful resumes and enhance your odds of nailing the job. Click the resume examples below to receive a jump start on your resume and locate a job faster! Creating a waitress resume in PDF can be simpler if you will use an outline or a checklist of the things which you need your prospective employer to understand. Though, it's wise to customize the skills in accordance with the job descriptions. Secretarial jobs typically involve a wide scope of tasks and techniques. Developing your resume is critical. This discussion should help you learn what things to concentrate on as you begin your work search. Your resume objective is a fast overview of what you could supply the employer succinctly captured in service sentences. To make a productive objective for the server resume is to understand what the employer is searching for in the most suitable p erson for the position. Thank you for your time to stop by our website. The Appeal of Restaurant Resume Examples Working in food service may be a priceless experience. It is not hard to customize with duties and duties for your restaurant, chain or quick food service company. Restaurant and food services are thought of as a hospitality sector. If you work for a big restaurant then there might be scopes to get involved with marketing activities. To find out more on what it requires to be a District Manager, take a look at our complete District Manager Job Description. Detecting a listing for an open dishwashing position is normally simple, but securing such a position isn't always so straightforward. The very first significant section of your resume is known as the Career Objective. Listed following are some of top notch Restaurant Resume Sample photos on the world wide web. A great small business program would document short-term and long-term aims of the company and es tablish certain tasks for achieving theses goals. Hence, you need to consider the alignment of your prior work designations with the requirements of the business so that you can fully gain from the content of your restaurant resume. Next up is Kenny, that has been working in restaurants for over 12 decades, and would like to revise his resume to take advantage of chances to step up. As a professional in the area of food support, a restaurant resume is among the documents you should develop in the ideal manner as this can enable you to get the work position which you would love to have in terms of your preferred career path. Thus, it's understandable to have an extensive work experience for a Server. A restaurant server resume ought to be focused on the abilities and individual attributes the candidate possesses. The job of a server is among the entry points in the restaurant business but it's the most challenging one. Even though a basic serving job is fairly simple to find, servers who need to work in nicer restaurants will need in order to demonstrate their abilities and experience. It's fast and simple to use. There are a lot of primary kinds of restaurant resume completely free word pdf documents download free used to make an application for job openings. The employers may have encounter comparable resume habits in their practical experience, so it's important to alter the resume template so it appears distinctive from the normal one particular. They might have encounter comparable resume designs within their expertise, so it is essential to change the resume template to ensure that it appearance distinct from the typical 1. Restaurant Resume Examples Options Since it shows your latest experience up front. Thus, be certain you earn a great resume, beginning with an effective objective. The second illustration is for applying as a hostess in the whole hospitality sector and might not be effective once the hirer is in need of a hostess with a certain set of skills. The War Against Restaurant Resume Examples Submit an application for a restaurant manager's post in such a manner a recruiter can't reject your resume at all. Also, it's wise to create your resume objective to be targeted like in the very first example, especially in the event the hostess position you attempt to obtain was advertised. Make certain it hits the spot. The very first step is to get a stellar restaurant resume. Going to the restaurant and obtaining a sense of the way the place runs could provide help. An effective restaurant manager resume ought to be targeted at the specific employer you would like to work with. Following that, you've got to include another section on different roles and obligations you have handled as the restaurant manager. Get the job that you want with a totally free restaurant resume templates ownforumorg that highlights your experience in various service scenarios. Superior understanding of the work description of the specific restaurant manager position that you want to obtain will let you compose a resume bearing the most suitable set of skills, qualifications, and expertise so that your resume will interest the hiring manager.